Poems, Eggs, and Grape Juice
by lecmayeraburger
Summary: I do not own South Park! ....Forget Stan and Wendy, it's Kyle and Wendy. If you think that's crazy, wait until you read about Cartman and Bebe. Impossible? Only in the actual TV show. Impossible is what fanfiction is for!
1. Good NewsBad News Depends on POV

Forget everything you know about Stan and Wendy just for this story. Replace Stan with Kyle, and pretend Wendy and Kyle never broke up. I'm going to skip their whole relationship starter and move on to the first day of the Poems Era. I did make up that era and even though it was not given a name, it really did exist at one real school. Not everybody knew the entire story, but, since I do, I'm willing to tell it all- in a South Park version. So don't believe EVERYTHING you are about to read.

"Hi, Morgan," Wendy Testaburger greeted one of her friends as they passed in the hallway one morning.

" Hey, Wendy….. Uh wait."

She whispered," Did you hear about Cartman and Bebe?"

"What?!?!"

"Yeah… I'm not sure if I was supposed to tell you or not so you didn't hear that from me."

Morgan walked away as Wendy stood in shock. _For one thing, __why would my own best friend NOT tell me these __things.__ Second of all, CARTMAN!?!?! _Wendy thought these to herself for a few moments until she saw Bebe.

"Bebe, is there something I need to know about?"

"Oh, uh," Bebe laughed as she tried to think of an answer. She knew what Wendy was talking about.

"Well?" Wendy begged for an answer.

"There's nothing else to it, really."

"Nothing else to it? Bebe, of all our years together as friends, best friends, I never thought that you of all girls would date Cartman. I mean, why?"

"Well, I'd feel bad if I had said no and he asked me in the most romantic way."

Wendy could not stand something about the word, _romantic_, but it was not until later that week that she would realize that she was all for that sort of stuff.

She said, "Cartman romantic? Paleeze. What'd he do? Give you half of his feast he ate at lunch?"

Bebe laughed and said, " No…. Come with me to my locker for a second."

Wendy followed Bebe to her locker. Bebe opened it up and pulled out a paper rose.

_Oh, brother_, Wendy thought.

"So?" Bebe asked.

"Bebe, you aren't dating Cartman. You're dating some weirdo trapped inside of Cartman's body. Trust me. His $$ IS big enough for someone else to fit in it."

"Hey, maybe he's changed. Besides, there's nothing wrong with giving him the chance that I've told you over and over you shouldn't have given Kyle."

"Bebe, everybody actually likes Kyle. You'll be made fun of for years if you continue with this."

"Oh, wow, this sounds familiar. A little different, but familiar. One thing that's different is that usually I was the one telling you the truth that Kyle was no good for you and you should have left him a long time ago. Now YOU are telling ME to break up with Cartman and I'm just gonna have to be you and say no."

"Then I guess I'll be you and say when you find yourself with a broken heart, don't come crying to me. And another thing-"

"Shut up, Wendy!"

Bebe then furiously stormed off. Wendy, also flustered, ran to catch up with Kyle to share the news.

_**More to come!!!! Please reveiw if you have ideas for chapter 2!!!!**_


	2. Surprises on the Lunch Menu

"Who?!?!"

"I know. I reacted the same way. Don't overreact though, Kyle. I'm not sure if they want others to know," Wendy calmly explained to Kyle who was taken by surprise at the news of Bebe and Cartman.

"But now I lose 5 freakin' dollars!" Kyle exclaimed.

"What?"

"Yesterday, I bet Cartman 5 dollars that he wouldn't ever get a girlfriend before the end of 4th grade. How the heck did he get Bebe to go out with him?"

"She said she would feel bad for turning him down."

"Yeah, right."

"It might not turn out that bad. Be positive for once."

"……… I'm going to act like I didn't hear that."

"I'm sorry. You two are just always fighting. Both you and Cartman and you and Bebe."

"So are you sitting with us at lunch today?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"See ya at lunch then."

"See ya."

Later, the bell signaling lunch rang. Wendy rushed to the cafeteria and met Kyle. They were about to sit at the usual table (Kyle's table full of boys which Wendy didn't mind) when they saw Cartman and Bebe walking towards the table.

Wendy ran up to them and told Bebe she was sorry about their fight from earlier.

"Oh, that's okay, Wendy. Guess what!"

"What?"

"I'm sitting at the boys' table with you today!"

"Sweet!"

"Yep."

Wendy took her seat at the table beside Kyle and watched Bebe and Cartman approach the table. Then, every boy at the table and Wendy stared with disbelief as Cartman pulled out a chair for Bebe. Bebe smiled and sat down. Kyle never pulled out Wendy's chair for her and it was not until this moment that Wendy realized how much she wished Kyle would have. It was even worse towards the end of lunch. Cartman was being a gentleman and taking Bebe's tray for her. Kyle rolled his eyes. Wendy thought again about how Kyle had never done that for her. Everybody was surprised when Cartman also took everyone else's tray, too. Kyle again rolled his eyes, but this time Wendy gave Bebe a look. It was that sort of look that you give someone when they don't seem to be making any sense to you at all.

Wendy then suddenly figured out a way to get Kyle to do stuff like that for her. She saw Kyle roll his eyes when Cartman took everyone's trays.

"Okay, Bebe, now I'm jealous."

Kyle again rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please. He's just showing off for his girlfriend," Kyle explained.

"No, he's being a gentleman," Wendy argued, "He's doing more than what I've seen you do."

"Burnnn," Bebe commented.

"No, he's just trying to show off to make you jealous so that he would make everybody think he's a better boyfriend than me!" Kyle said, becoming upset.

"Then prove he's not," Wendy quickly replied. She walked out of the lunch room with Bebe, leaving Cartman and Kyle behind.

Cartman came back to the table, laughing at the whole conversation.

"Kyle, just face it. I'm a better boyfriend than you because Jews can't be good boyfriends."

"Shut up, fata$$!"

"No, seriously, Kyle. It's comin'."

"What's coming?"

"The break up, Kyle. You know it's going to happen. Girls don't want dirty Jew rats."

"How do you know anything about what girls want, fatboy?"

"Because that's how I won my 5 dollars you still owe me, Kyle."

Cartman smiled. He knew that this time he had won the argument and walked away with pride.

"Jerk," Kyle mumbled to himself. _He probably doesn't even like __Bebe__. He's probably using her just to make me look bad to Wendy. I'll show him. I will definitely win, __Cartman__, you fat piece of crap._


	3. Wake Up, Wendy

That night, Wendy Testaburger went to bed convinced that Kyle didn't really care. After thinking about it for a while she realized that he had never done anything romantic for her. They acted more like best friends than anything else.

_A year together, but we only act like best friends. I have to show him that I want more than that. __But how?__ If I come flat out and tell him, he'll think I'm an idiot._

Wendy fell asleep thinking all this over. Her last thoughts were, _Wake up, Wendy._


	4. Who REALLY Cares?

The next day, Bebe greeted Wendy at their morning snack break by showing her a poem that Cartman wrote for her.

"Wow," Wendy said after reading the poem unenthusiastically.

"What?" Bebe asked.

"Cartman is an okay poet."

"Yep," Bebe said proudly.

"There has to be a catch to this, Bebe," Wendy stated.

"Well….."

"What?"

"Nah."

"C'mon. Tell me."

"Well, he said he thought of this poem in the shower."

Wendy started laughing instantly and Bebe could not help joining her.

"That's not what I meant, but okay," Wendy said as she continued laughing.

"Well, what DID you mean?" Bebe asked.

"Bebe, has it not yet struck you that your boyfriend, Cartman, is the enemy of Kyle, my boyfriend?"

"So?"

"Cartman IS the one who usually does whatever possible to pi$$ Kyle off."

"Wendy, let's not go through this again. For one thing, Cartman wouldn't use me like that. For another, you're just jealous cause Kyle doesn't write you love letters and poems or do nice little things like Cartman."

"But how do you know for sure that this isn't all fake? It wouldn't be the first time Cartman tricked someone. How do you know he even likes you?"

"Cause the poem says."

"Bebe-"

"Wendy, it's not that hard to go up to Kyle and tell him how you really feel. Quit being a wuss and figure out your feelings."

Then Bebe gave Wendy a sympathetic look and walked away. Wendy stood, lost in thought. _Bebe__ might be __right. Maybe I do have a soft spot for __ro__-….__uhh__….roman-…..romance._

The word came slowly to her. When she got to her locker, she opened it and looked at the picture of Kyle that stuck to the inside of her locker door by 2 pink heart-shaped magnets. She touched it and realized that Bebe was right. Wendy suddenly wished for all the pleasant things in the world from Kyle. She wanted him to know, but she could not let that happen. _He'll only look at me as a freak__. No, he'll think I'm a __slu__-_

"Hey,Wendy," Kyle greeted her at her locker. She woke up from her thoughts, but she could not say anything at all. She looked at Kyle with sad eyes. His eyes turned sad and confused, too.

"Wendy, what's wrong?"

"Oh, uh, it's nothing…"

"Oh, don't tell me it's still the whole Cartman and Bebe thing. He's only using her to make me look bad!"

"Are you sure?"

"What?!?!"

"How do you know he doesn't just like Bebe?"

"Wendy, it's Cartman. Don't tell me he has you hypnotized too!"

"Kyle, you're overreacting. Besides-"

"Overreacting?! Wendy, Cartman is overdoing the whole boyfriend thing. He's not doing it all for Bebe. He's doing it for himself. He doesn't mean anything!"

"Are you sure? Cause Bebe just showed me the best poem ever written which obviously was in Cartman's writing and last time I checked, the most romantic thing you've ever done for me was pay me my money back that I gave you whenever you didn't bring any for lunch!"

"Wendy, I know you don't really care about that stuff, and that's why I've never been a showoff like fata$$!"

"Then I guess you don't know me as well as you thought, then, because you obviously don't care enough about me to know what I feel," Wendy calmly said and ran away. If Kyle even said as much as, "Wait," she didn't hear him. She didn't care. He obviously didn't. So why should she?

That day Wendy avoided everyone that she would normally talk to, including Kyle.


	5. Telling the Truth

"Ok, fata$$, why the hell is Wendy now ignoring me?" Kyle frustratedly asked Cartman as they ate lunch. Wendy, avoiding everyone, was sitting at an empty table.

"Cause she wants nothing to do with a boring meaningless Jew," Cartman stated in his know-it-all tone.

"I swear, Cartman, if she breaks up with me because of you, I'm gonna whoop your sorry ss back to last year!"

"Kyle, what could I do to make her do that?"

"You told her something, didn't you?"

"Like what? And besides, do you expect the ho to believe ME? Especially over you?"

"Cartman-"

"It's you, Kyle. Not me. You're just to afraid to admit that I AM a better boyfriend than you and that Wendy hates you because you're a Jew and Jews are always doing something wrong!"

"No, Cartman! I've already got you figured out! You are just using Bebe to make Wendy hate me! You like Wendy or you just want to make me mad! Either way, you can kiss Bebe goodbye 'cause I'm going to tell her the truth!"

Kyle then walked away as Cartman finished with, "Oh, really?"

Towards the end of lunch, after a lot of thinking, Bebe walked over to Wendy and asked, "Wendy, what's wrong?"

No answer.

"Wendy, I know something's up, and I'm your best friend so talk to me!"

"Bebe-"

"Bebe, can I talk to you for a minute? Over here?" Kyle interrupted. Wendy looked up at him, but she didn't say anything. Kyle didn't expect her to. She was slowly converting to Cartman's side. _What if she does break up with me for him? What if-_

"Sure, Kyle," Bebe answered. She gave Wendy another sympathetic look and then followed Kyle to a different empty table.

"Bebe," Kyle started, "you aren't going to believe me, but it's true."

"Well what is it?"

"Cartman really is using you. He's trying to either ruin my life completely or make Wendy break up with me for him."

"Not you, too!"

"Bebe you have to trust me on this. I mean, since when has Cartman even been nice to his regular friends?"

"Kyle, if you don't want Wendy to go to him instead, try being a gentleman like he is and do nice things for Wendy. I'm sure she would enjoy it."

"No, Bebe, that's not what I mean."

"Kyle, she really does care for that stuff, but she's too afraid to tell you. If you really want her to talk to you, you'll have to give her something nice for once other than jokes and smiles. Good luck though, 'cause she won't even talk to me."

And at that, Bebe walked away.


	6. Poems

_**This chapter is very short, like Wake **__**Up**__** Wendy. It's again about Wendy's evening thinking over how to share her feelings with Kyle. If you don't understand why she doesn't, it's because Kyle isn't really the type you would normally share your feelings about him with. He, too, didn't seem to be all for romance. **__**Now, to Wendy's evening.**_

Wendy spent all evening how she was going to get her message through to Kyle without embarrassing herself in front of Kyle. It wasn't until she was about to fall asleep that an idea struck her. She thought of the picture of Kyle in her locker. Then, she thought of the poem Cartman wrote for Bebe.

_A poem?__ Well, those are fun to read and I love to write them. I could also shove it through the slits of his locker. I hope it isn't messy or he'll never find it._

Wendy silently, but quickly got out of bed and grabbed a pen and paper.

_What do I say? __Hmmmm__…………._

After a while of thinking, she started with:

_"Wendy is crying _

_Because cupid is dying."_

She smiled and continued to write. After she finished her poem, she reviewed it. She fixed any mistakes by rewriting it on a new sheet of paper. She felt so much happier after writing the poem. She was still a little sad, but not as much.

_**Like I said, this chapter was short. The poem was a real poem that I wrote for my boyfriend in school when we had a situation similar to this. We both enjoy South Park so we made up characters for everyone. He was Kyle and I was Wendy. That's why I put those two together in this story. Also, here's the real poem I wrote that Wendy just finished in the story:**_

_**"Wendy is crying**_

_**Because cupid is dying**_

_**She really tried to make it work**_

_**But all it did was make her heart hurt**_

_**She tried to show Stan**_

_**What she needed in a man**_

_**Who she thought was just right**_

_**With whom she had hoped to spend the rest of her life**_

_**But she was wrong**_

_**They weren't singing the same song**_

_**Although she had tried**_

_**Her hopes and dreams still died."**_


	7. Finding Wendy's Poem

The next morning, Wendy ran to school. She ran before the bus reached her stop so that she was able to slip the poem into Kyle's locker before anyone was there to see. An added bonus was being super early for class. She was very social with everybody. She talked to Kyle and Bebe both. They were both shocked at Wendy's optimistic mood. She changed completely overnight. They were just happy, though, that Wendy again seemed happy.

After class, Wendy snuck glances at Kyle while he was at his locker to see if he saw the poem. It fell out as soon as he opened it. He picked it up and read it. Then his face filled with many emotions. You could tell he was shocked, but sad. He crumpled the poem and threw it back in his locker. Wendy looked back into her locker, now hopeless. Just as she turned her head, Kyle looked at her. He thought for a moment before grabbing his books and going to class.

At lunch, Kyle kept stealing glances at Wendy. When his eyes met hers, though, he immediately turned back around.

"She's not gonna ditch me. She's not gonna ditch me," Kyle kept mumbling to himself.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Stan asked.

"Huh? Oh, nothing," Kyle answered, still trying to think, _She's not __gonna__ ditch me._

"You sure you're okay? Things have seemed to be pretty hectic the past few days. You know, with Cartman and all," Stan said, knowing Kyle was still upset about his current status of his relationship with Wendy.

"I'm fine, Stan."

"No he's not, Stan. His girlfriend probably chose me over him, but he's probably just too scared to admit it," Cartman came in. Kyle glared at him, and Cartman gave Kyle his evil _I-won_ smile.

"You know what, fata$$," Kyle started. He couldn't help his temper any longer. "If you want Wendy so much then why don't you go ask her out? I'm sure she'll say yes to the gentleman!"

Kyle got up, shoved his chair into the table and stormed out of the cafeteria.

"Dude! Not cool! Cartman, you seriously need to quit right now. Kyle's got enough on his mind already. He doesn't need you to build on to it," Stan said, trying to protect his best friend.

"Why don't you try to stop me?" Cartman asked.

"Wait, you don't even like Bebe, do you?" Stan asked. "You're just trying to push Wendy away from Kyle! Cartman, you're going way too far!"

"Like I said, just try to stop me," Cartman said. "I am going to win, Stan. Give it up."

"Screw you, jerk! C'mon, Kenny," Stan said. He got up and walked away. Kenny flipped off Cartman and followed Stan.

_I've won already,_ Cartman thought. He glanced at the girls' table. Wendy was watching the whole thing with a worried look. When she saw Cartman look, she quickly turned her head.

_Screw you, ho. You and __Bebe__ both._


	8. Who Wins?

At the end of the day Wendy dragged her feet to her locker. She was worried about Kyle. He stormed off during lunch and she didn't see him since. He looked pretty pi$$ed. It was obvious that Cartman said something again to make him that way. She hated it when Cartman made Kyle act this way. Kyle didn't seem like Kyle when he was pi$$ed.

As Wendy opened her locker, a small folded piece of paper fell out. She picked it up and unfolded it. The paper revealed a poem written in Kyle's handwriting. It started with:

_"Kyle isn't crying_

_Because cupid is lying"_

Wendy finished reading the poem and smiled. Kyle really did care. Reading the poem got rid of all her negatives just for the moment. She looked at Kyle's locker, but he was gone. She looked at the clock on the wall. She missed the bus. Wendy refolded the poem and put it in her pocket. She packed her backpack and walked home. On the way, she saw four familiar people talking by Stark's Pond. They were Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Bebe. Wendy ran down towards them.

"Wendy?" Bebe asked, surprised to see her friend.

"What's going on?" Wendy asked back.

"Wendy, I am so sorry about not believing you and Kyle about Cartman this whole time. I should've known better. I don't know why I believed him over you guys," Bebe said, obviously being truthful with them.

Wendy smiled and replied, "It's okay, Bebe. At least I have my friend back."

Bebe smiled back.

"Well you know what this means, don't you?" Stan asked Bebe.

"I know," she replied.

"You have to break up with Cartman," Kyle said, just to make sure.

"Ya," Bebe said proudly now that she knew the truth. "Well, I need to be getting home now."

"Yeah, me too," Stan said.

"Mph mph," Kenny added, holding up three fingers. So everybody except for Wendy and Kyle left for home.

They were silent for a while. Then Wendy broke the silence.

"Kyle, I'm sorry about adding to your stress this week."

"Oh, that's okay, dude. I should be the one apologizing for not showing you enough that I care. So, well, I was hoping I could make up for it."

"What do you mean?"

"Wendy, you see, I've been in your position for a while now." He pulled out a heart shaped locket with W K carved into it. He gave it to Wendy.

"Kyle, I-"

"Wendy, I've carried this in my pocket everyday for a few weeks. I've been wanting to give it to you, but I was always afraid of what you'd do. I thought the same thing you did about me: That you don't really care for that stuff. I would've given it to you yesterday after our fight, but It didn't seem right."

Wendy then smiled. So did Kyle. That's when they said they're goodbyes for the day and went to their homes.

**_The End._**

****

**_I think you can pretty much figure out the ending anyways. Cartman will obviously get all P.O.ed and Wendy and Kyle: Happily Ever After._**


End file.
